The Traumatized System: How We Inherit, Sustain, and Heal What Controls Us
Many of us grew up with parents carrying deep, unresolved trauma themselves, who were unable to be fully present, consistent, or attuned to our needs. As a result, we learned early that love and safety were conditional and unpredictable. Many of us had to become experts at scanning the environment and internalizing that our survival depended on performing, pleasing, and hiding our true feelings and self.
These adaptations became deeply embedded in our nervous system: hypervigilance, collapse, dissociation, or overstimulation became normal ways of being. Looking at society, we find that this same dynamic is mirrored on a much larger scale. Culture itself functions like a traumatized parent: inconsistent in its support, demanding of performance, and deeply uncomfortable with genuine presence and truth. In practice, this means that authenticity is rarely rewarded. Moving slowly, honoring your body’s cycles, or choosing rest over productivity often results in punishment or exclusion. An employer will likely choose the person who can perform 100% of the time, rather than the one who works in alignment with their natural rhythm. The system values outcome, growth, and profit above all else, and anyone who resists or questions this pace risks being pushed aside.
Trauma loops inside the system
At the same time, society feeds and exploits the very survival strategies we once developed to cope with our trauma. It fosters dissociation, disconnection, and addiction. Because the more we consume, the less we feel. The faster we move, the less we are aware of our actual needs. The more we chase what is external, the further we are away from our own truth and feelings. These structures are not there by accident, they are strategic. The rewards and punishments built into the system are designed to keep us outwardly focused, hooked, and dependent, so that we never truly pause, sense, or remember our inner connection and the wisdom our bodies carry.
In this way, the collective system does not just reflect individual trauma, but it amplifies it. It takes the nervous system’s survival responses and hardwires them into culture itself, making dissociation look like functionality, performance look like worth, and presence almost impossible.
We live in a world where choice feels abundant, but most “options” are pre-curated by corporations, algorithms, and production chains designed to maximize engagement, dependency, and profit. From food to media to lifestyle trends, our attention is guided and manipulated by forces we do not see. While we may feel we are deciding, the structures around us are shaping our behavior to reinforce the system.
How we are manipulated on a biochemical, nervous system & psychological level
The system exploits our autonomous nervous system’s adaptive strategies and controls them with psychological mechanisms that keep us compliant and disconnected. For instance:
Dopamine & stimulation loops: Notifications, endless scrolling, and being permanently reachable and updated overstimulates our nervous system. It repeatedly spikes dopamine, creating temporary highs and subsequent lows, which reflect the adrenaline-arousal patterns developed in childhood to survive unpredictability. This is not just about distraction, it is about teaching the nervous system to outsource regulation to external cues, reinforcing fragmentation between body, mind, and our ability to be present and connected with our Self.
Diet & processed food: Sugar, caffeine, and highly processed foods provide artificial energy that the body interprets as fuel, when in truth these disrupt our natural metabolism, gut microbiome, and emotional regulation. This constant stimulation mirrors trauma-driven coping: reaching for quick fixes rather than sustainable nourishment, keeping us in survival mode instead of allowing the body to truly restore its balance.
Stress hormones normalized: Cortisol and adrenaline are treated as everyday fuel for productivity rather than signals of systemic overstimulation, reinforcing sympathetic overdrive as a normalized state. This makes hyperarousal look like functionality, where being “on” all the time is celebrated, while the natural highs and lows of energy, rest, and recovery are often dismissed as weakness.
The nine-to-five illusion: Our cultural schedules are built on linear, industrial models that ignore the cyclical nature of human beings. Bodies, especially those of women, are expected to perform the same way every day of the month. Children are expected to learn at the same pace year-round, and workers are expected to be endlessly available regardless of season or personal rhythm. This chronic mismatch between natural cycles and imposed schedules keeps the nervous system stressed and exhausted, pushing us further from our connection to nature.
The above are just some examples of a deeply traumatized and traumatizing society. Together, these mechanisms form a net, where biochemical hooks, psychological manipulation, and systemic schedules reinforce one another. Each mechanism amplifies unresolved trauma by feeding our survival strategies, like dissociation, hyperarousal, or collapse, while we are made to believe that this is the “normal life.” In abandoning our natural rhythms, we abandon ourselves, and the system thrives on that self-abandonment.
Understanding the interconnection between personal and collective trauma
When we look at family systems, social structures, and collective dynamics, it is easy to focus only on the external dynamics, such as laws, institutions, education, healthcare, and the economy. These frameworks shape our daily lives, but what is often overlooked is that they are built and maintained by people whose nervous systems and psyches are deeply impacted by trauma. Unless trauma is recognized and addressed, both individually and collectively, any attempt to change our current structures will remain superficial. This is why systemic transformation and personal healing cannot be separated, they depend on each other.
Our current culture reinforces a split: body and psyche are treated as separate, symptoms are managed rather than their roots explored, and trauma is rarely named as the root cause behind much of our suffering. We medicate away anxiety, numb pain, and attempt to control behaviors without asking what the body is carrying or why the nervous system is overwhelmed. This is not real healing, it is managing symptoms within a system that itself is built on disconnection and avoidance. The truth is that trauma is psychosomatic: it lives in both body and psyche, shaping how we feel, act, relate, and organize our lives.
While awareness of trauma is growing, we must ask: are we truly listening to its depth? Are we willing to address more than symptoms? At present, society continues to run in circles of growth, profit, and consumption, reinforcing survival mechanisms on a large scale. To step out of this loop, we need to bring the psychosomatic impact of trauma into full view, and recognize that both our inner and outer worlds must be transformed together.
Returning to ourselves in daily life
And yet, even within this vast and overwhelming structure, change begins in our own bodies and our own daily lives. Healing is not about doing more. It is about returning again and again to what is real, to what is here, to what is alive in us. In a world that constantly pulls us outward, choosing to pause, to listen, to follow our own rhythm is already an act of resistance.
At the same time it is important to remember: healing does not look the same for everyone. Our bodies carry different histories, different limits, and different capacities. Our daily realities, whether shaped by our health, finances, the environment we live in, or relationships, are not equal. There is no single “right” way to live in alignment with yourself. Every step, however small, is valuable.
One way to start is by cultivating simple, practical ways of returning to ourselves. These anchors are not about productivity or performance, but about presence and integrity.
Here are some possibilities:
Digital Boundaries: Creating intentional distance from screens. This could mean silencing notifications, choosing certain hours of rest from your phone, or simply pausing before you open a social app to notice what you are actually seeking. When we set boundaries with screens, we reclaim attention and time as our own resource, help reduce overstimulation and giving attention back to our body and environment.
Grounding Food Rituals: Paying attention to how and when you eat. It could be as simple as putting your phone away when you have a meal, chewing slowly, or noticing the textures and flavors as you eat. In this way, we can help our nervous system to better regulate digestion, bring mindfulness to daily routines, and reconnect with eating rhythms.
Micro-Rests: Allowing your body moments of pause throughout the day, even if only for a few breaths with your eyes closed or letting your shoulders drop before you continue. This supports your nervous system in creating space for more awareness and presence.
Self-Contact: A hand over your heart, on your face, or holding your own hand. Simple gestures of physical presence that remind you: I am here with myself. This gentle touch signals safety to the nervous system, grounds you in your body, and helps to create a sense of internal support and self-compassion.
Attuning to a Place: Noticing the details of wherever you are, your room, your desk, the sounds in your building, the temperature of the air. This creates a sense of orientation and belonging, even in ordinary surroundings.
Noise hygiene: Reducing constant background noise and choosing softer, calmer sounds (like instrumental music, white noise, or silence) allows the nervous system to settle, supporting focus, relaxation, and internal awareness.
Light & Atmosphere: Using warmer bulbs, candles, or soft lighting reduces overstimulation, signals safety to the body, and creates a cozy, welcoming space that encourages presence and calm.
Reclaiming stillness: Deliberately allowing moments of doing “nothing”, like sitting quietly, observing your breath or surroundings, gives your nervous system permission to rest, integrate experiences, and strengthens self-awareness.
Toward a different future
Every time we pause, take a conscious breath, or truly notice our body and needs, we are quietly stepping out of the patterns that keep us disconnected. These moments are small and sometimes barely visible, yet they matter a lot. They create ripple effects, slowly reshaping how we show up with ourselves and others, and in our communities. Healing in our own body and psyche is a subtle act of resistance: it weakens the current system built on distraction, overconsumption, and disconnection.
This is not about perfection or achieving an ideal state. It is about noticing, returning, and allowing ourselves to be here, alive, present, and aware in the ways that we can. From these small intentional acts, a different rhythm can begin to emerge that carries the possibility of deeper connection, integrity, and a gentler, more grounded way of living.
✍🏻 Questions for Self-Reflection:
Which aspects of society or culture make me feel pressured to perform, overwork, or hide my true self?
Where in my daily life am I unconsciously giving my attention or energy to things that do not serve me?
Which grounding routines or rituals could help me feel safer, calmer, or more present?
If this article resonated with you, I’d love to hear your reflections. Feel free to share your thoughts or insights in the comments below. If you are looking for guidance on your journey of self-connection and healing, I offer supportive sessions both online and in Oslo, where we can explore your nervous system, trauma patterns, and practical ways to support to yourself. 💙
With warmth
Julia